Philip - A Stalker Christmas

A Stalker Christmas



         Why was it so dark? I looked up toward the street lamp, risking my face to the freezing cold drops of rain. I had to squint to see the lamp in heavy downpour. It looked like it was out. Either that or my puffs of breath were so strong they just blocked out the light. But I'd put money on it just being blown out. And what a time for it, too. Even if the light itself didn't provide heat in this potential hail storm, the glow of the light would have been enough of an illusion of warmth that I wouldn't feel the need to chop off my fingers and toes just so I didn't feel the sting anymore. Then there was the fog, thick and glowing, hiding all the creepy things you'd rather not know about. All the freaky things. The dead of winter was not the best time for me to be out. It sucked. And I knew in a second it would start snowing on me. You'd think everything would be just dandy when you leave your house at one in the morning. Really, I should have been complaining about the rain, deathly cold wind, thick as piss fog, or broken street lamp. I was the dumb ass putting myself through this after all.
         Begrudgingly I left the end of the walkway and began to trudge down the sidewalk. I didn't have long to walk, but with the weather acting like a tantrum throwing brat it took me longer than it should have. Long enough to think about what I was doing. My actions could – as innocent as I told myself they were – could affect the person I cared most about. For better or for perminately worse. It could be suck a simple little trip or all hell could break lose. As I thought my mouth wasn't sure if it wanted to smile or frown. But no matter the outcome I wasn't going to give up my selfishness. I wanted what I wanted and even though I hadn't yet got it I was going to try my damned hardest. I didn't mind being a selfish person so long as it was for a good reason.
         Reaching the my destination I paused long enough to pull my heavy black coat tighter around me and adjust my hat. That was another reason I hated the winter: heavy clothing. Being bogged down made me nervous. I needed to be able to maneuver and flex when I wanted to. Now I was more annoyed than I would have to have been. I made my way into the parking garage and up to the second floor. At least my building covered our cars to make up for us having to walk a half block to get to them. I'd flip shiz if my ride was covered in rust. But it wasn't so my shiz stayed where it was. Yanking the cover off my bike I removed the chain from the handle bars and tires. Tossing them aside I donned my helmet and climbed on. The bike roared to life beneath me. It vibrated through me, the consistent motion quickly warming the space between my thighs. That made me feel a little better. Peeling out of the garage I turned onto the road.
         It was a good half hour ride to where I was going. A good half hour more of time to think about what was happening. What was happening? Was this really a bad thing? Seriously? I wasn't harming anyone. I wasn't intentionally putting people in danger. Yet somehow, even without directly interacting with people, I was becoming the bad guy. It wasn't me attracting all the negative attention. I mean, it's a little bit my fault that it all started and I probably could come forward with what was really going on. But to be honest I was too afraid to.... Okay, that wasn't the right word. I wasn't afraid; I was nervous. Nervous that she would hate me. Nervous that someone actions of someone else – set in motion by my own actions though I take no fault them myself – would make it so I could never see her again. Not that I got to see her much anyway. You can only inspect someone's house so many times before they started getting suspicious. But today I wouldn't be searching her house, or even talking to her. Just sitting out in the cold watching. There was nothing creepy about a cop on patrol after all.
         Pulling up in front of the house I parked my bike across the street and dropped the kickstand. A car would have been better for this, but I liked the bike. It made me look cool. It made me more appealing. Most importantly it was cheaper than a car. So I sat on my bike and fondled my police badge in case someone came by. Not that they could see me or it in this fog and rain. But the house that I was watching had their front curtains open and the living room light on. I could see the family moving about. The two married men rearranging the space and trying to put up the Christmas tree. They had this strange tradition of putting it up the day before Christmas while wearing matching outfits. They dressed as Santa, one with a fake beard, the other with a red cap. She had to wear one, too, but on her it was cute. A cute red Santa dress, who'd have thought? I could see her helping to decorate the tree, her holiday costume hugging her body. Maybe I'd get her a black and red version of the dress in the same size for next year. Maybe leave a sweet little note with it. Maybe I was getting ahead of myself. I hadn't even left this year's gift in her room yet. I expected her to like this one better than the last few. Though, personally I thought the flowers were a great gift.
         Leaning forward against the handle bars, I raised my shoulders to protect my ears from the cold. A second wind was blowing in to push away the fog. The house across the street became clearer. I could make out more details like the creases in the curtains, the flowers in the front yard, and the figure on the roof. I cursed louder than I would have liked on the quiet street. He was here again...why? Why couldn't he just leave us alone? I would have such a good thing going if  not for him. Him; the down to my up. The clingy little prick who thought just because we shared a name meant we had to have the same life. That we needed to depend on each other. That I needed to babysit his clingy butt for the rest of his life or he would ruin mine.
         Faqing Philip.